Ramakant Yadav the Internet edition

Summmer Sanity By Ramakant Yadav

13 May 2012

Ramakant Yadav's Thoughts on Summer.

Hot Summer Days

It was another hot irritating day, the flies were buzzing around in the humid air like mindless robots trying to hunt down fleeing humans in some cheap science fiction movie. I stood at the top of a hill near my house and looked down at the struggling dregs of humanity as they struggled to survive yet another day of traffic, dust, loan collectors and blinking signal lights. I knew they were doomed to struggle. Doomed to wake up every morning to narrow broken roads, unruly traffic. There had no other choice. It was the classic catch 22: struggle and rot in traffic or struggle to pay your bills.

After a few minutes of shaking my head at the pointlessness of life and the great stupidity of the masses, I went home, took a shower and got ready to join the rat race. Traffic was thinning out by the time I joined the hordes trying to reach their offices from the pitiful matchboxes that they called home. Arriving at the malfunctioning signal, I successfully dodged the old begging woman at the signal crossing. She looked even more haggard than usual, her frayed silver hair, her old sun beaten face looked even more lined than usual, her clothes more unkempt than usual. Last I heard, she had bought a few acres of land in her village and continued to beg because it kept adding to her savings. But that's what I heard. Her reality might well be quite different, she was probably having fine scotch on the rocks with all the money she was making. I have never seen someone beg at that signal crossing for more than a few months at a stretch. People were generous with their money before the recession hit. I wonder if they are still as generous now.

Dodging a few illiterate drivers who obviously have did not know when to stop and when to go, I finally made my way across the signal crossing, across the multitude of swearing, sweating, swerving simpletons.

"Don't they ever know when to give up, abandon driving and sit at home like every other sane person out there?", I thought to myself as I continued to ride the bike up towards the next signal. Meanwhile maniacs masquerading as drivers continued to overtake me from the left hand side. It was an absolutely shocking state of affairs, the part of the road to the right of my vehicle was completely empty.

"Did they change the traffic rules overnight, and forgot to tell me?", I thought to myself as I leaned away from yet another maniacal motorcyclist trying to blind-side me from the left hand side. I sped up only to step on my brakes as the next signal turned from green to yellow and then to red in quick devilish succession. My old motorcycle did not like that treatment and protested by promptly shutting down. I tried to get it started once the signal turned green, but it refused to put up with any more ill treatment and resolutely refused to start.

While I continued to try to kick-start the motorcycle to life, the world behind me exploded into a cacophony of horns and whistles. Apparently, hordes of patients had escaped from the asylum and were waiting for the signal to turn green, right behind me. I got off my motorcycle, pushed it to one side of the road and tried to coax it to life. After a few minutes of swearing and grumbling, I was finally able to bring the beast back from the dead.

I resumed my journey, continually dodging the ever present suicidal maniacs trying to commit suicide by hurtling their vehicles against mine. They underestimated my resolve to refrain from manslaughter and I was able to reach work without releasing a few tortured souls from their frustrated lives on earth.

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